Thursday, 4 August 2011

Freedonia Will Get Stuck In.

The sound of stirring martial music and the loud tramp of marching feet (or was that the loud marching of tramp feet?...) was heard in the Capital over these recent days, and the now fully mobilised army is marching to the border to show those Silvanians who is Boss.
In a speech to the House of Representatives, the President said "Then it's war! Gather the forces, harness the horses, Freedonia's going to war! Each son will grab a gun and run away to war, feet will beat along the street - to war! We're going to war -  this is a fact we can't ignore!"

The President has formed his headquarters in the strategically located wine cellar of the Duck Public House just round the corner from the Senate Building - chosen for its good command facilities and appropriate name.  It even has a telegraph.
The President broadcasting to the Troops. The effect of the President on morale is, as always, unbelievable.

The Army is now very nearly mechanized - here the Motor Car sets off for the Front.
The huge column that is the Army marches to war
The army has prepared for this day for many months, and is taking to the field with high hopes, and some guns and ammo as well.
Even at this dire hour of need, the President has re-affirmed his Government's policy of 'no first use' of the Marvello-Gun, which is not being deployed to the war front.

Despite some unpatriotical comments about the unreadiness of the Army, its lack of cavalry, medical or logistical support, and the fact even though it has conventional artillery guns the troops have only minimal experience of their operation.
General Smith

General Smith, the Army Commander has pooh-poohed these suggestions, saying "I pooh-pooh these suggestions, they are laughable, hahaha - see?".  he went on to say "..we will do what we must, because we can..."

1 comment:

  1. Dear Editor / Mr Shakewell,

    Thank you for your insightful report on the current affairs that has our nation locked into our coffee houses, anxious to await every scrap of news as to the State of the Nation in these heady days.

    However, I must protest, in the strongest terms, to your suggestion of unpatriotical comments, of which I have no knowledge despite having occupied the common room of the Pied Bull - a public house close to the front in a locality which I won't divulge in the National Interest! - for much of the same time as you yesterday.

    Instead there was much merry making and rejoicing as we watched the gallant troops walk past and hats were tossed in the air several times until we ran out of small change to pay the young local lads for retrieving them.

    General Smith, who we have seen march at the head of the troops, seems like a fine fellow and much competent and intent on forcing a quick and glorious decision.

    His plan for the campaign, as he divulged to us, tax-paying and responsible patriots, at the tap of the Pied Bull on Condition of Secrecy (surely!), is a proven strategy that will see the Ennemy double-tricked much like Hannibal was at the beach of Cannae!

    So much have I been impressed by his genius that I at once despatched a local lad with sovereign to the neares t betting house to wager it on the victoriest and speediest of conclusions.

    We were also told that Doctor Lagavulin, a noted authority on the swine influenza and delivery of cattle, will accompany the expedition. Our boys couldn't be in safer hands.

    I remain your obsequious servant

    mssr Adam Holzapfel, Esq, SJ
    of Horntree-sub-Mare, South Blightyshire