Sunday, 31 July 2011

Presidential Guard On Parade

President Firefly's personal assistant, Mr Ravelli announced today that the new Presidential Guard Regiment has been formed, representing the most elite unit in the Freedonian Armed forces.
Mr Ravelli, the Presidents 'trusted' aid at a recent press conference.
"Itsa a bunch of pretty tough hombres to be sure mista", said Mr Ravelli at the press conference "..they taka no lip from them Silvanians - and any trouble and they getta plenty tough on them, yeah, plenty tough".

The Minister of War had no comment, though the press corps reported hearing several loud blasts on a horn.

The Elite Presidential Guard on parade for review, resplendent in their distinctive genuine gold (colour) helmets,
The formation of this new regiment signals yet another step in the growing sense of impending tension.  At the same time as the announcement of this unit, reports are coming in of the Silvanians raising yet another regiment, this time called the Guard Shock Regiment.  Little is known of these ruthless cold-eyed killers and molestors of the innocent, but rest assured it can't be good.  Thank goodness for President Firefly's foresight.  Hurrah!
There are also reports of the impending addition to the defence of Freedonia in the form of radical new technology.  Influenced by the high level of motorization in the Forbodian Army, a number of crates labelled 'tractor parts' have arrived from the Rolls Royce factory in England.  One thing  is certain,  our President will be looking for nothing but the best for our Lads.

Friday, 22 July 2011

Freedonian Marvello-Gun Seen in Public for the First Time

Crowds gathered outside the Kempshott barracks today as the shiny new Freedonian Marvello-Gun was unveiled to the public.  This gun, thought to have been purchased from a foreign manuafacturer via shady Forbodian Arms Dealers, is being described by the Forbodians (with a charactristic disregard for spelling) as a 'Vonder Veapon'.
"Whatever happens we have got, the Marvello-Gun - and they have not"

Recent tests at the Knuston Training Grounds indicated its superior range and muzzle-velocity, and there was a general agreement between the major Powers that such a weapon was far too powerful to be used in 'everyday' warfare.
Powered by a top-secret chemical propellant, the cannonballs from this gun are projected faster than the human eye can follow, causing wonder and amazement from all onlookers.
The Marvello-Gun has not been revealed before today because of a lack of suitably-trained gun crew.  The newly formed Corps of Regional Artillery Personnel (pictured) has been undergoing intensive formation training, and were able to demonstrate that Freedonian military know-how is clearly something to be reckoned with - or at least seriously considered.

CRAP Gunnners deploy the amazing Marvello-Gun
Technical so-called experts from the 'think tank', the Freedonian Instititute for Creativity, Knowledge, Learning and Education, are suggesting that the Marvello-Gun is merely an empty gesture, designed to show one-upmanship in the field of international politics, as the gunners cannot see the fall of shot, and hence cannot aim properly.  Also the ammunition is can only be obtained from a highly unreliable overseas source, making it vulnerable to Foreign Interference.
President Firefly dismissed these comments, saying "They'll be hearing from my lawyers, Hunkerdunker, Hunkerdunker, Hunkerdunker, Hunkerdunker,and McCormack...take a letter..."

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Morale Boosted In the Capital - Official

As the gloomy overcast skies of impending conflict gather, the President has formed a delightful new Pipe and Drum Corps to boost civilian - and of course military - morale.  Inspired by the highland regiments of olde England - the Corps has both bagpipe and drum elements.  Kitted out in the McFirefly tartan, the President said "There were Fireflys at Culloden.  And Horseflies.  The horseflies were on the Fireflys.  Anyway I can trace my ancestors all the way back to Bonnie Scotland...and when I catch up with them they're going to pay up what they owe me!"
The band played a number of stirring tunes, including the catchy ballad "We're all going to kick the Silvanians..", the stirring "Lets not be beastly to the Forbodians", and the ever popular "We're going to hang out our washing on the Silvanian Frontier"
The concert was rounded off by a stirring rendition of the National Anthem "Hail Hail to Freedonia" - and many of the onlookers joined in - one or two even managing to remember more than one verse!  
A collection was made for the War Effort, and it is reported that the President, who took the salute, had tears in his eyes when he saw how much had been collected.

It is rumoured that there is frontier trouble on the Southern border near the town of Northbury, and several regiments of brave Freedonian militiamen are urgently considering the possibility of departing for the front.  No doubt the Pipe and Drum Corps will be marching with them to spur them on to to greater mean successes.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Exercises Officially Deemed A Success.

General Smith, chief of the Freedonian General Staff announced today the results of the recent joint exercises and military manoevers recently conducted in the neutral Knuston training grounds.
The General said "This was a triumph...I'm making a note here; 'Huge Success'".

Operating in conjunction with the phlegmatic Cordeguayan Army, on a fact-finding visit from their native South America, the Freedonian Militia aquitted themselves well. They were able to conduct friendly military manoevers against the Forbodians, led by King Boris - who turned up in person to lead his troops.
King Boris has found the battlefield..hurrah! (Picture coutesy of the Forbodian Times)

Initial concerns have been expressed by independent observers about the somewhat worrying accuracy and range of the Forbodian artillery (paticularly their new howitzers).  Official Freedonian sources say they are not all that bothered, as that sort of accuracy probably wouldn't be possible in actual battlefield conditions.  Probably.
Of greater concern was the presence of sinister Silvanian Imperial Storm Infantry at the excerise, apparently at the invitation of the Forbodians.  It can only be speculated that King Boris invited them in a moment of confusion.

Silvanian Storm Infantry skulking about in the Rear Areas.  Typical!
The First and Second Freedonian Militia detachments formed up and ready for Smart military action. 
Note they are at the Front of the battle line.

There was also an opportunity to test the new amazing 'Marvello-guns' that have recently been imported - though there is widespread acceptance that they are far too powerful to be allowed in real warfare, and their use on the battlefield has been banned.  In tests it was reported that the shots fired from these guns went so fast they could not be seen.  The full implications of bullets that go faster than light have yet to be assessed.
President Firefly said "We welcome the restrictions on the use of the new 'Vonder Veapon' in war - and we assert our democratic right to not use more of these weapons than anyone else".

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

President Firefly Reviews the New Militia

Following an intensive period of training, the first new regiments of the Freedonian Militia paraded in front of the presidential palace - resplendent in their new black uniforms.  Recruitment has been bouyant, as loyal Freedonians rally to their country's defence.
Square-jawed honest Sons of Freedonia preparing to Do Their Bit For Freedonia
The Army Commander General Smith, said "We are very proud of our new soldiers - they represent the very best of Freedonia".
Photographs have been smuggled out of Silvania of their growing militarism, and they are clearly mobilising for some major aggressive actions. 
Ruthless, steely-eye Silvanian Storm Infantry, clearly planning something offensive
President Firefly addressed the Senate, saying "...nobody calls a Firefly an upstart, and the Silvanian Ambassador must withdraw what he said to Mrs Teesdale.  These are my Principles, and if you don't like them, I have others".

Meanwhile, the situation in the Crimson Empire worstens - the handful of gallant militia are guarding the gates of the Freedonian Legation from growing numbers of armed rioters.  We are living in troubled times.
Rioters viewed from the walls of the legation

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Freedonia Welcomes its New President

In a surprise move in the senate today the old President has been removed due to alleged  financial mis-management of the Freedonian economy.  Wtih tension rising with neighbouring Silvania the influential Teesdale family has put its support behind maverick statesman Rufus T Firefly for President.

Firefly is known for his ability to handle difficult situations and is no newcomer to the rough and tumble of Freedonian politics.

His first actions may be to raise taxes for improvements to a new and modernised Freedonian militia, who even as we write are being mustered in Kempshott Barracks.  Rumour has it that new and powerful cannons have been purchased and are on their way.

Those Silvanians had better watch out - with Firefly at the helm, Freedonia will fight for its honour.

The Silvanian ambassador has been reported to be in close talks with the Firefly government, but there is no sign of tension reducing.  Rumours of Silvanian mobilisation are even now leaking out of that sorry state.

No comment has been heard yet from the freedom-loving, if rather confused Forbodians.  Which side they will back remains, as ever, unclear - King Boris was not available for comment as he was tending to his pet Cow.

In other news - disturbances have been reported near the Freedonian embassy to the Crimson Empire of Emperor Ken-ishi.  There have been calls for an expeditionary force to be sent to protect Freedonian trade and other interests - though in the current economic climate at home such an expedition might still be weeks away.