Let the (Freedonian) Train Take the Strain

Following careful negotiations with honest American suppliers, the Minister of Railways was able to announce the arrival of the first of the new (or at least only slightly used) trains for Freedonian Republican Railways.  At last the railway system of Freedonia is being brought further up to date!

The first locomotive arrived in a fanfare of publicity and the cheers of enthusiatic bystanders. 

 It is apparently to be named "The Meteor",  it arrived today  at the newly constructed railhead in the Capital, and was greeted by the Presidential Guard and the new Army Corps of Bandsmen.

The Minister of Railways, Mr Ravelli said "Issa what I said - one luvvery choo choo.  Issa very fine choo choo, you bet."
The Finance Minister is reported to be in a stable condition and is expected to regain consciousness very soon.

The new locomotive will be running special inaugural services out to the Bratuvian Frontier, and it likely to be used to ferry supplies and tractor parts to that troubled region.

Science News

Following reports of the development of heavier than air flying machines in France, Germany and Britain, the Ministry of Agricuture and Science has announced its plans to start developing its own program to construct the first Freedonain powered aerial craft. A spokesman said  "Freedonain Science is the best in the world - we'll have these things working in a couple of weeks, no problem."

There have been some reports already of unidentified aerial craft in the skies of Freedonia, and conspiracy theorists are suggesting that the first Freedonian Flying Machines might already be in service.

Government sources are poo-pooing the suggestion.

Freedonia Enters The Mechanical Age

Ever at the forefront of military technology, the Freedonain Army has today taken delivery of its first powerful Winpey Fergusson Military Prime Mover.

Built around a state-of-the-art WF Steam Engine MkXIII, with an integrated double reverse framistate control system - the first of these mighty machines is destined for the newly formed Freedonain Engineer Corps, and will be used to haul large guns, heavy loads and the like in battlefield conditions.

The new machine, christened 'The Thunderer' by the President Himself in an official ceremony Outside the Presidential Palace.  This wonderful machine was purchased under a revolutionary private financing deal with the manufacturers Wimpey Fergusson.  Wimpey Fergusson are well known for their high quality heavy engineering products such as steam engines, railways, armaments and  agricultural machinery and at very competitive prices, the President said.

The increased mobility that the new 'Thunderer' will give our Brave armed forces will allow the formation of a new 'Mobility Corps' equipped with cavalry, the powerful steam car and a light petrol car (when not being used on Presidential Duties).  

Other News

The Freedonian Parliment today approved a major package of investment in the Freedonian railways.  In his speech on the subject the President said "For many years now our national railways have been a joke.  I can't remember the last time I saw a train. Well it is high time our trains ran on time.  Or at all really.".



The Minister of Finance reportedly fainted when the huge cost of the project was announced.

A train

 

Mr Ravelli, the Minister of Buying Trains said "Looka, you wanna nice choo choo, well I getta nice choo choo, donta you worry about that none".  According to sources close to the government, it is likely that the new railway will be equipped with some old US-build wood burning locomotives.

CLEWISTAN IN UPROAR

The Maharaja of Clewgistan has recently announced an increase in trade tariffs on goods coming from Freedonia, and his close advisor the Grand Vizier Dendristi, has been making inflammatory speeches to the hill tribesmen of that far-off land.

The possibly deranged Maharaja of Clewgistan

As a result the easily inflamed  tribesmen launched unprovoked attacks on the trading post of the Wimpey Fergusson Machine Tools and Tractor Parts Company located in the foothills of the Clewg Mountains.  

The brave mercenaries of the Wimpey Fergusson Guard Bn

This post is gallantly defended by the Wimpey Fergusson Company Guard Battalion, and news has not yet emerged as to these gallant troops' safety or otherwise.

Things are looking pretty sticky ...

Heathen hordes of enraged tribesmen

Clearly this is an affront to all right thinking Freedonians.  As our revered President Firefly said to Parliament "... this is an outrage!  I have principles you know!  And if you don't like them I have others!.  This may mean war ..."

The Silvanians have officially denied having anything to do with the uprising.  But they would say that wouldn't they? 

Meanwhile - Science News

Professor Kokintz is a Famous Scientist

The Freedonian Institute of Science and Agriculture has been receiving reports from astronomers, in particular the famous Professor Kokintz, who have been reporting unusally atmospheric disurbances on the surface of Venus.  The famous Professor said "...zey look just like ze little poofs, you know..."

A spokesperson  for FISA said "...despite wild speculation, we can officially state that the chances of anything coming from Venus is at least 100,000 to one."

Kingdom of Silvania Rattles Sabre

News is coming in of the militaristic Silvanians ruthlessly expanding their military might with the formation of a new Regiment of 'Rangers'.  

Allegedly, these troops are trained to operate in the rough and mountainous border regions, and (according to the Silvanians) they are an 'elite' unit capable of living off the land and skilled in long range operations.  Obviously they would have to be able to live off the land due to Silvania's famouly useless logistic train.

The Rangers, or 'The Rosehats' as they are known to many are skilled at cowardly manoevers such as ambushing and outflanking, and there have been many a brave Freedonian border guard who will have been assaulted roughly from the rear by these so-called 'Rangers'.

Other News

The Sound of Distant Drums
News is just reaching us of further unrest in the Darkest Africa where Freedonian Missionaries and Traders have been bringing the delights of civilisation to the savage inhabitants of Bonkhobonkholand.  
The natives are becoming very restless and there is a concern that they might not want to be made to wear proper trousers and eat Freedonian Lasagne like civilised chaps.  Where will it all end, one wonders?

Freedonian Army Forms First Cavalry Regiment

There was much cheering and jollity throughout the brave Republic of Freedonia of the news that Freedonia's defence is further enhanced by the formation of a highly trained body of cavalry.  The Rose Growers Federation of Freedonia spokesman said "... this can only be good news for our roses ... "

This is going to be one in the eye for those Silvanian Ruffians over the border.  No more will they dare threaten our way of life, land and womenfolk now that the brave boys of the 1st Cavalry Regiment can hunt them down like the weasals they are (once the weasal hunting season starts anyway).